Changes ShikaxTema
by VancePerv
Summary: When Temari is sent to the Hidden Leaf Village on a mission to stop evil thieves from attacking Konoha, she meets up with someone who becomes her personal slave. Enter: Shikamaru!Rated M For Sexual themes, large amounts of swearing, and disturbing scenes.
1. A Day with the Devil Herself

(Starts off with Shikamaru being assigned to watch Temari for the month)

Tsunade, the 5th Hokage of the Leaf, sat in her wooden chair. The room was awfully stuffy today, and since it was hotter than a bowel of ramen outside, it made it even worse.

"What the hell is taking Shikamaru Nara so long?" she complained to Shizune who was standing right next to her.

"Uh... Uh... I don't know." she hesitated. She hated when Tsunade became impatient, it always ended up with _her_ getting in trouble.

After thirty minutes of waiting, Tsunade slammed on the desk. "God-Dammit Shizune. Get that lazy bastard in her right now!" she ordered her Assistant.

Shikamaru walked into the door the second Tsunade yelled. Tsunade folded some papers. "About time, Nara."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Whatever." he said, not really caring. Shizune gave the Chunin some space.

"What is it that you want me to do exactly, anyway?" he asked. Tsunade smiled a bit.

"Well, we have a very special visitor from the Sand, and she needs someone to guard her while she sets up some exploding tags around outer Konoha. It appears that the Sand has detected a number of thieves hiding outside of Konoha, and only the Sand knows about it." Tsunade explained.

Shikamaru wore a puzzled look. "Well, who is this "special-visitor"? Kankuro?" he asked, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it.

Tsunade smirked. "No, Kankuro has some business to attend to. Our special visitor is someone that you know personally."

Tsunade's words were a hint to who it was. "No, anyone. Not... _Temari_ God, not her!" Shikamaru pleaded.

"That's right, Nara!" a strong female voice yelled. Shikamaru jerked his head to see the pretty blonde kunoichi.

"Temari! Great to see that you arrived so soon. We weren't expecting you until tomorrow!" Tsunade exclaimed, quite pleased.

Temari smiled at Tsunade, but gave Shikamaru a dirty look. "I try to think I do my best." the female Jounin smiled.

Shikamaru sagged in his chair. _Great._ he thought as he inhaled more smoke.

Temari took a seat next to the lazy shinobi. "Nara," Tsunade said seriously. "I want you to understand that this is a B ranked missions, there is nothing funny here, you must be serious here." the Hokage said.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. How troublesome." the Chunin said, and then, they were off.

"Okay, where are we supposed to go, you know more than me." Shikamaru said.

Temari checked her watch. "Well, it seems to be the 12th of July,  
4:30pm. I have to leave here August 12th, 4:30pm." she said smiling.

Shikamaru was in the process of lighting his 3rd cigarette of the day when he heard the news. It was like a sharp stab to the heart. "You leave when!" he exclaims.

Temari's expression grows mean. "That's right you weak bum! I have to stay in this shit-hole for one month. Lucky you, you get to escort a beautiful lady like me around for that period of time." she says.

Shikamaru sighed. "I think you mean ugly man." Shikamaru mumbled. Temari heard that. "I mean what?!" she exclaimed as she put a fist in Shikamaru's face.

The Nara had blood gushing from his nose as he fell to the floor. "Idiot, get up and bring me to the best diner here. Your paying." she demanded.

The 16 year old Chunin groaned, rubbing his busted nose. Temari waited for him to walk her to the best food place in Konoha.

Shikamaru figured he couldn't trick this broad, he might as well treat her to some decent food.

"I should slip some poison in her drink." he thought to himself, smiling contently as he imagined the witch choking on her drink, and soon, collapsing.

The diner was beautiful. It had stainless steel railings, and ivory shingles. Shikamaru began to worry when he read the menu.

A waitress in a red dress brought Temari her salad and water. Temari thanked her, and ordered her meal.

"I'll have the seasoned grilled chicken with coleslaw and carrots. The Sand Ninja said, smiling sweetly the entire time. Shikamaru put his menu down. I'll have the steak burger with fries and onion rings, thanks." he said.

The lady took their order, and left. Temari smacked the Nara on the hand. "Do you know how many calories that has? That'll clog your heart and arteries before you turn 18! Dumb ass." she scolded him. 

Shikamaru thought about this for a second. He decided that he would rather be dead than have to stand another second with this evil devil.

In a few minutes, the food arrived. Shikamaru ate his burger, while Temari cut her Chicken slowly.

"Hmmmm, I think that this chicken was slightly over-grilled. It might lead to fattening!" she informed the Nara.

"For the love of god, eat the food or starve!" the Chunin complained.

"You fool. Fat coming from GRILLED food is worse than fat coming from FRIED food." Temari sighed trying to educate the Nara.

"I never heard of grilled food having any fat." he said. Temari smiled. "You must be stupid then. EVERYONE, even Kankuro, my stupid brother knows."

Shikamaru finished his burger, and wiped his mouth. Already, the Nara was ready to go. Unfortunately, a certain female was just beginning to nibble on her carrots. Not to mention that she hadn't even touched her coleslaw or chicken.

_It's going to be a loooooooooooooong month_ Shikamaru thought.

One and a half hour later, the duo were finished eating. It was beginning to get dark, so Shikamaru decided that it was time to leave.

"Let's see a movie!" Temari protested. Shikamaru rolled his eyes, his nose still hurting from the punch he received from the Sand kunoichi earlier.

The two chose to see a love movie, one that lasted 3 and three fourths of an hour.

One hour into the movie, the Nara had gone to sleep. Temari was just beginning to cry.

"Is... Isn't that the saddest thing you ever saw?" Temari sniffed as she wiped her tears away with a tissue.

"Isn't it?" she asked, crying some more. Silence. "Isn- Nara?" she said aloud. 

She saw the Nara in his green vest, sleeping. "Dammit Nara!" she yelled.

"Sshhhh!" a woman from above said to Temari. "To hell with you!" Temari growled.

That woman shut up quickly. Temari slapped the ninja, hard. "Owww!" the Shadow Ninja cried out as he rubbed his face.

"The hell was that?" he groaned. Temari shushed him, and continued watching the movie.

Two hours into the movie, Shikamaru was sleeping again. Temari had used fourteen tissues for wiping the tears from her face so far.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" Shikamaru snored. Temari took notice of him sleeping, and slapped him again.

"Owwwww. Shit, the hell?!" he complained. Temari shushed him again, and continued to watching the movie.

Three hours into the movie, Shikamaru was sleeping, yet again. Temari had had enough of this so far.

"Wake up you idiot!" she screamed. Everyone shushed her, and she cursed everyone out.

After a small brawl, the manager asked her to stay outside. She tried to say that Shikamaru was with her, but they just laughed.

"Riiiiiight. That lazy bum wouldn't watch a passion/love movie with a beast like you!" the two guards laughed at the same time.

She growled.

After the next three quarters of an hour, the movie was over, and everyone came out. Everyone _except_ Shikamaru.

She looked at her watch. "11:30pm! That damn lazy bastard has been in their for over 2 hours extra."

Finally, after another 30 minutes, at 12, the lazy shinobi came out. "Ahhhhhh. What a nap." he yawned.

Just then, he saw the reincarnation of the devil, standing right in front of him her foot tapping impatiently.

"Oh boy." he said to himself, a little nervous. The Sand Shinobi did NOT look happy.

"Shikamaru." she said through clenched teeth. "Y... Yes?" he asked, beads of thin sweat falling from his hair.

"Shikamaru!!!" she yelled as she chased him with her powerful fan.

"Noo!" he screamed as he ran away. "Troublesome women." he said to himself as he ran to the nearest store.

Temari had to put her fan away to get to the Nara. "Think!" he said to himself. "Gotta find something to make her feel better!"

His eyes scanned all around the newsstand. "A card... Yes! A card!" he laughed as he paid $3.00 for a heart covered card.

"Get ready to die!" the evil female Jounin hissed wickedly. "Waaaiit! I have something for you!" he cried as he handed her the card.

Temari stopped her rampage, and snatched the card from him.

She unfolded the piece of fine paper. She read it.

I Wub You.

Temari's face was trembling, Shikamaru thought that she was about to burst out crying from happiness, but in reality, she began crying because of laughter!

"What the hell is this? A pathetic card that you think will make me LOVE you? Get real, kid." she laughed.

Shikamaru exhaled. At least, he thought, she wouldn't kill him. Or at least he hoped she wouldn't kill him. He still had a month to go with this devil. How would he survive?


	2. A very wet dream

Shika wakes up, Shikamaru is still bruised from the sock to the face.

The delicate sun seemed to gently stroke the lazy ninjas face as he buried himself deeper into the comfortable covers.

He opens an eye slightly, but decides getting up will be too troublesome.

_**This is what I call paradise.**_ Shikamaru thought as he rubbed his loose hair on his pillow.

"SHIKAMARU!!!" a loud and agonizing voice screamed as it ripped through his peacefulness.

Shikamaru sprung out of bed. "What the hell!" he yelped as he looked around his messy room.

"SHIKAMARU!!! GET UP!" the voice yelled again. Shikamaru's heart sank, and his face drooped. "Not again." he moaned as he banged his head against his pillow.

"GET UP YOU LAZY BASTARD!" Temari screeched like the evil witch she was.

Shikamaru decided that he could either stay in bed, and probably get beaten up, or meet her downstairs, and get beaten up.

_I'll get beat up even more if I stay up here, I'll meet the bitch._ He mumbles to himself.

Shikamaru undressed, his nose puffy and hurting. He noticed that a certain part of his body was all sticky.

"What the hell?" he looked down to see that that "certain part" was all covered in dried, sticky liquid.

"Ohhh shit! Not again!" he cried as he remembered the dream he had last night.

CUT TO DREAM:

Temari is walking over to him, in panties and bra. She is holding a whip, and sucking a candy.

"Te--- Temari!" the ninja gasps as he sees the beautiful kunoichi, sexier than ever.

She shushes him, and whips him. "OWW! Shit, what the hell was that!" he yells. She smiles. "You know you like that." she laughs as she whips him again.

"Oww! I do like that." he grins. "I know." the blonde Sand Ninja whispers, and she undresses.

"This is too good to be true!" Shikamaru smiles. "It is." Temari smiles."

THE DREAM ENDS.

Shikamaru is in the bathroom. Cleaning up after his little wet dream. "SHIKAMARU! I'M COMING UP THERE, AND I AM GOING TO BEAT YOUR SORRY ASS!" the harsh woman screamed as she banged on his door.

"I'll be there in a minute woman!" Shikamaru yells back, as he dries himself off.

Finally, after a few minutes, he is dressed and ready to go confront his greatest fear: Temari Sabuka.

He opens the door, and feels the hard knuckles of Temari's fist knock his face sideways.

"Idiot! I've been waiting for three hours. THREE FUCKING HOURS!" she yells.

Shikamaru rubs his now bruised face. He sees that the people of Konoha are staring at him.

_**So troublesome.**_ the Nara thinks to himself. In a flash, the two are finally in the main town.

Shikamaru and his bothersome guest walk along the non populated Konoha. Shikamaru sighed. He couldn't, no, he WOULDN'T survive a month with this bitch. He decided to find a way to escape, while she didn't know.

Before he began thinking, he saw Asuma. "Hey sensei!" Shikamaru called out, feeling a little better.

Asuma smiled warmly. "Hey Shikamaru! Have a date?" Shikamaru frowned. "Hey, I'm not dating her."

"Mmmm, hmmm." Asuma mumbled, smiling. Shikamaru twisted his face.

"I am not dating her!" Shikamaru whispered to his sensei fiercely.  
Asuma chuckled.

"Riiiight." he smiled, his ciggy dangling from his hairy face. Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"What a drag." he moaned. Asuma took him to the side. "Shikamaru. There was always a time during training where I knew one day you'd meet a girl, and things would happen, and..."

"I DO NOT LIKE HER!" the lazy ninja yelled, almost everyone heard it, including Temari, who was loving every minute of it.

"I have some good advice for you when it comes down to you and your girl to..." Asuma said seriously.

"This is too troublesome." Shikamaru said as he began to walk away. "Wear a condom!" Asuma yelled as he lit another cigarette.

Shikamaru looked back, embarrassed, and nervous. Temari laughed as she began to leave. Shikamaru tried to follow her, but was too focused thinking on how he would pay back his sensei.


	3. Kankuro's Concern

If love was golden, then Temari was the rust that lowered its value. When Michelle tried to plant a sweet kiss on Shikamaru, Temari ended up punching the girl the so hard, the girl has a bloody nose at the end of the ordeal.

"Take that terrorist!" she yelled out as she saw the girl fall to the floor. Shikamaru's eyes bulged out as she saw Michelle fall to the ground, crying.

"Temari! What the hell?!" the Nara cried. Temari gave the black haired boy a nasty look, and socked him too, again.

"Owww!" he moaned in pain. Temari looked at the girl, who ran away, not thinking twice about the handsome Nara.

Shikamaru had grown immune to Temari's blows, so he easily, well not easily, got up and confronted her.

"What the fuck was that about?" he asked her, angry. Temari shook her head, as if she was talking to a kid.

"Don't you understand?" she said. "No, I don't. Why don't you educate me "oh great Temari?" he said sarcastically.

Temari winked at him. "Okay. Number one: The enemy we are after CAN be in cahoots with regular citizens." she said, seriously, starting to walk away from the crowd of people who were looking oddly at them.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "And how do you know that for sure, anyway?" he asked, amused.

Temari giggled. "Well, ANY girl that pretty would never socialize with someone as fugly as YOU." she busted into a laugh.

Shikamaru smirked. He was used to her "compliments." Temari looked around. "Besides. You should be eye-goggling ME. Not some tramp that probably has a girlfriend or something." she said as she finished her fruit cup.

Shikamaru laughed, but couldn't help it. He was beginning to feel a little better, she was funny, comical, and... pretty.

What a drag he thought. But then he thought. Maybe this month would go quickly, and he'd relax. 

He sighed, and opened his eyes. He saw Chouji and Ino laughing at Naruto who was doing something stupid.

"Let's see what he's up to." he thought to himself.

"Naruto, you're so stupid." Ino laughed as she looked at the poor dimwitted blonde as he tried to ask her out.

Well, SAKURA won't go out with me to the dance tonight. So I have gotta ask Ino. Naruto thought in despair.

"Then who are you going to go out with, anyway? Chouji?" Naruto asked. He thought that he was AT LEAST a cut above the fat-ass.

Ino stopped laughing. "Yeah riiiight. No, I was either going out with Sasuke or Shikamaru, and Sasuke left, so that means I'm going out with Shika-maruu!" Ino dragged on "maru" as she saw the Nara and the Sabuka standing right next to her.

"Hey Ino. This is Temari." the Nara introduced. Temari gave her a "fake" smile and laugh, but Ino hissed at her. Temari gave her a nasty look.

"So, Shikamaru. As you heard, we have the big "Konoha Dance" tonight, and well. I was wondering if you wanted to come." the Yamanaka asked.

Shikamaru thought for a second. Either go with her, and have a decent time, or stay with this devil Sabuka and get my head gnawed off. the lazy shinobi thought.

"I..." he was cut off by Temari. "He can't go, sorry. He has to escort me around, and where there are people. I have to go. Meaning I have to go to the dance with him. Sorry." Temari apologized, enjoying Ino's anger.

"Well. Okay. I'll take Chouji, he pinched a few inches. Later Shikamaru and uh... Temari" Ino waved goodbye, giving the Sabuka the evil eye.

"Wh- Wait! What about me?" Naruto pleaded. Temari snickered. "Go jerk off to your PlayGirl. Naruto hung his head low.

When he looked up, he saw the most beautiful girl he had ever saw. "Maybe I can persuade her..." he thought.

"Hey Temari." Naruto asked. Temari looked at him. "What, me and Shika were going to go to the mall." Shikamaru groaned.

"Uhh, why don't you go with me?" the Uzumaki pleaded. Temari broke out laughing.

"Kid, GET A LIFE!" Temari yelled, and left with Shikamaru to the mall.  
Naruto thought. "Maybe I can gang up on her... Yeah... The Shadow Clone Jutsu... Heh heh heh..." the Uzumaki laughed.

"There is a dance tonight!?" Temari shrieked as they exited the mall at about 5:30pm. Shikamaru moaned. "Yeah yeah, at 9:00pm."

Temari squealed. "Awesome! I am so going to try out this new dress. No doubt!" she laughed.

Shikamaru sighed. How troublesome. He thought. They reached his house, and she tried on the new dress.

"This party is going to be WILD!" Temari cried as she applied makeup.

"You spent 2 and a half hours getting dressed, it's already eight." the Nara complained.

Temari shot up. "Were going to be late! Get your damn clothes on!" She yelled almost crying.

Shikamaru sighed, and got dressed. "Riiiiing. Riiiiiiing." the phone screeched.

Temari snatched it off its handle. "Hello. Temari Sabuka speaking." the Sabuka answered politely.

"Hey Temari!" Temari's younger brother Kankuro answered. "How are you?" he asked.

Temari rolled her eyes. Kankuro was always so protective of her, ever since she first kissed a guy.

"I'm FINE Kankuro. Were going to a wild party, we'll probably b up all night. Bye." Temari said, and hanged up.

Kankuro dropped the phone, shocked. "Nooo! Not a wild party." Kankuro remembered what happened at wild parties. How people never not got drunk. He had to stop her.

"I'll save you Temari!" he yelled to himself, and grabbed his puppets to leave.


	4. The Party that went Bad

Temari and Shikamaru finally made it to the outside of the party. A big man, heavily built, dangerous looking, guarded the door.

The couple looked for a spot on the line, and found one near the end of the line.

The two saw Hinata and Kiba at the end, in front of them. "Hey Shikamaru! And uhhh." Kiba stopped, not recognizing Temari. "Temari Sabuka. Nice to meet such a handsome man like you." Temari said sweetly, making sure Shikamaru heard her saw "handsome".

Kiba blushed a little when he heard Temari's compliment, but he kept his cool. "Uhh, nice meeting you too." he said, trying to engage Shikamaru in a conversation.

"So, you two here on a date?" he asked. Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "No, she is here on an S ranked mission, and I have to guard her." Shikamaru said as if he was held against his will.

Kiba laughed. After thirty minutes, they entered the party hall. "Yeah bitches!" Kiba yelled, as he ran to the dance floor with Hinata.

Temari squeezed Shikamaru's hand. "You know your going to have to dance with me." Temari threatened. Shikamaru gulped.

The two ran to the dance floor, and Temari began dancing like a freak. "Damn, she has her booty in line." Kiba exclaimed, leaving Hinata alone.

Hinata shrieked, and fell to the floor. "Oh my god!" some random girl yelled, but her yell was drowned out by the laughs, screams, and music.

Temari was busy dancing, when Kiba pushed himself to her, grooving better than most.

_Look at that ass!_ she thought as she began dancing with him. Shikamaru felt a little sick, but he sat at the bar, and drank himself through six songs.

After half an hour, Shikamaru had had enough. He was going to tell Temari it was time to go, but when he got to the dance floor, he saw that she wasn't there, instead, he found her with Kiba, going towards the bathroom.

_Oh no he doesn't!_ Shikamaru thinks, as he pushes himself to her. In a flash, Naruto jumps to the Nara, and gangs on him, and beats him up, knocking him out cold.

"That takes care of him, time to get Temari." he thought, giggling. He left the Nara a bruised mess under some shot table.

The sounds of the party were distant as Kiba and Temari began to settle in the bathroom.

They could hear people throwing up, but they didn't care. "You have protection?" Temari asked. Kiba smiled, and dangled a pair of condoms as he took his shirt off.

Temari slid her dress down, now nearly fully naked. Kiba kissed her, and applied the condom.

Naruto slowly entered the door, and heard the squeals of Kiba and Temari, mostly Temari. "Uh?" he asked, and saw Kiba and Temari having sex. 

"Don't stop. I want it! Yes." she screamed as Kiba paced quicker. "Fuck no!" Naruto yelled, as he ran into the room.

He punched Kiba, and knocked him out cold. "What the hell!?" Temari screamed. Naruto smiled. "Shadow Clone Jutsu! Rape time!" he yelled, as he performed the hand signs.

She tried to escape, but he knocked her to the floor. "Ya like me know, bitch?" Naruto asked, as he began to rape her.

"Get... off! You stupid mother fucker!" she screamed as she searched for a kunai.

"Not today bitch." he laughed as he began to hump her. "You... fucking pervert!" she cried as he got the hold of her.

Kiba woke up. "Motherfucker no!" Kiba yelled, as he grabbed him. "Nooo!!!" Naruto cried as Kiba cut his penis and balls off. Kiba laughed, and threw the Uzumaki aside.

Temari tried to regain her posture, but Kiba got on her. "You ready?" he asked. Temari really wanted to leave, so she said no. "What? Come on." he pleaded.

Temari said no, and she left, still naked. Kiba cried a little, but at least he got her panties and bra...

Temari managed to steal some girl's clothes that had passed out, and she ended up walking to find the Nara. She soon found him beaten up. She sighed.

Nothing really bothered her, since she always had to deal with her horny younger brother jerking off to pictures of hot girls, and sometimes him having sex.

"Lets go, I'm tired anyway." she told the beaten Nara, and left.


	5. Kankuro's Anger

It was another one of those mornings that Shikamaru dreaded. He had not only had to deal with the fact that Temari was mad that he was late for breakfast, but he also had to deal with the fact that he had to go with Temari to spy on the theives.

"Shikamaru! Hurry down." Temari screamed out loud from the outside of his house.

Shikamaru lit a ciggerate. "Damn it." he mumbled as he tried to cope with his pounding headache.

The shinobi put on his clothes, and ran downstairs to see the bitch. 

"There you are, you take way too long." she complained. Shikamaru grumbled.

"Hey, asshole. I am talking to you!" Temari yelled. "Go to hell." Shikamaru sneered.

"Uhhh!" Temari gasped as she watched the lazy ninja ignore her. "You idiotic moron. How dare you!" she screeched as she went to punch him.

This time, Shikamaru had had enough. "Okay, thats enough!" Shikamaru yelled, as he grabbed her wrists and pushed her away.

"Either leave me alone, or get a new escort." Shikamaru warned her. Temari gave him the evil eye, but she decided to leave him alone.

Ten minutes later, they had gotten a quick bite to eat, and were outside of Konoha, searching for he enemy.

"How do we know where this guy is, anyway?" Shikamaru asked, lying on the ground.

Temari sighed. "Were waiting for the rest of the squad, remember?" she informed him.

Shikamaru groaned. "Why do we need Shino and Chouji, anyway?" he asked. Temari laughed.

"Because Shino is for strategy, and Chouji is for smarts." she said. Shikamaru protested.

"But I am a good strategist, I have an IQ over 200." he let her know. Temari bursted into a chuckle.

"Yeah, like what? 201?" Shikamaru got mad, but inhaled his smoke. The next hour went slowly.

Instead of finding Shino and Chouji, they met somebody else, someone very desperate to find Temari.

"Temari!!!" a voice yelled. Temari looked back to see her dimwitted brother, Kankuro.

"What the hell?" she asked herself. Kankuro was running as fast as he could, his three scrolls on his back.

"Temari!!! What happened to you?" he cried.

Temari looked at her out of breath brother puzzled. "Kankuro, what are you doing here?" she asked.

Kankuro regained his breath. "Te- Temari. Are you okay?" he asked. Temari stepped back.

"Whats wrong with you?" she asked. Kankuro stood up. "Did anyone hurt you? Did they, if they did, I'll kill them. Here me? I'll kill them." Kankuro growled, getting more mad by the minute.

Temari tried to calm her brother down. "Kankuro, easy there. Nobody's hurt. Now sit down." she said, letting him sit.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. _He must be miserable, having to live with THAT creature_

Kankuro looked at his sister. "Temari, what happened. You would never be nice to me, you would have probably punched me out or kicked me in the shin by now, but you'd never offer me a seat." he said.

Temari smiled. "Well..." Then she hit him on the face, hard. Kankuro had blood dripping from his mouth.

"Thats for embarassing me in front of everyone in Konoha!" she yelled, reffering to what he just did.

Kankuro held his mouth. "Owww!" he screamed.

Kankuro tried not show Temari how much he wanted to strangle her. He came all of this way, missed out on getting some ass from some sluts in the Sand Village, to get punched in the face.

"So, why did you come here, anyway?" Temari asked, sitting down now. Kankuro gave her a dirty look. "Well, you said you were going to a wild party, so I decided to stop you, but you didn't tell me it was that night!" Kankuro yelled.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Why do you care?". "Don't you realize what happens at those parties, Temari? What the boys do to you?" Kankuro asked.

Temari sighed. "You get to go, and you always come back having fun." Temari whined.

Kankuro pulled his hair a bit. "Yeah, but that is because I was drunk, really when I'm too young to drink anyway." he said. "So you admint you are wrong." Temari asked.

If Temari was not his sister, he'd kill her. But, since she was, he had to handle things with a "brotherly" touch.

"Listen, I have sex with more than half of the girls at the party, I don't want you to have to go through..." Kankuro was cut off.

"I'm older than you, and besides, your little dick wouldn't hurt any of those girls." Temari chuckled.

Kankuro blushed. "You! My penis is normal size!" Kankuro yelled. Temari laughed. "I saw some 16 year olds packing bigger things."

That did it. Kankuro never knew Temari actually experinaced sex, until now.

Temari laughed a bit. "Your a nuisance, you know Kankuro? Your the ugliest of the Sabuka family, and you have no talent. Your stupid, too tall, and too fat. Your pathetic. Plus you have a micropenis." she lashed.

Kankuro was a man, and he didn't cry, but he exploded. "Your a whore who sucks so much dick, 75 of your body weight is sperm!" Kankuro screamed.

People were beginning to notice, and Shikamaru hid behind a tree. Temari gasped, her hand over her mouth, tears forming.

"Your... Your horrible!" she screamed as she began to cry. The Sabuka ran away, far away.

Kankuro stood up, and tried to chase her, but he was too tired.  
Temari..." he called.

How troublesome. Shikamaru thought. Kankuro punched the tree enxt to him. "Dammit!" he groaned.

Shikamaru stood up, and began to walk away. Kankuro was still breathing, but looked at the Nara. "You! You didn't hurt Temari? Did you?" he asked, sounding vicious.

Shikamaru looked back, scared. Nothing made him more terrified, than Kankuro, especially since he defeated Misumi with little trouble.

"Uhhh! Me? No, I am just here to escort her on a mission." Shikamaru said innocently.

Kankuro shook his head smiling. "Your not doing your job then, eh?" he asked. Shikamaru gulped. "No." Kankuro laughed, and walked up to him. "If my sister gets hurt, raped, or killed, I am going to take your undersized penis, and stick it so far up your ass you won't be shitting for weeks. Understand?" he asked. Shikamaru gulped. "Yes..."


	6. Why Ramen and SelfPleasure don't mix

Hey everyone! I just decided to say hi, hope you're all enjoying the fic.

Shikamaru dashed away from the angry Kankuro Sabuka. Damn, he's scarier than her! Shikamaru thought as he looked into the distance to see Temari crying on Sakura Haruno's shoulder.

Oh great. Shikamaru thought. He'd have to deal with another troublesome broad now. Shikamaru sighed, and walked over to the two, his hands in his pockets.

"sniff... and then Kankuro said that 75 of my body fat is speerrrmm!" Temari cried.

Shikamaru really wanted to leave, but if he had to fight off Kankuro, he'd die.

"Temari..." Shikamaru said. Sakura looked up at the Nara. "Shikamaru... You need to help her..." the Haruno said, as she left.

Shikamaru sat down next to the devil witch. Sakura sat a few feet down, watching the Nara try to make the Sabuka feel better.

"Uhhh... Temari?" Shikamaru asked, and in a flash, he was grappled by her with a hard, powerful hug.

"My brother is so meeaaan!" Temari screeched. She hugged Shikamaru really hard, so hard, it began to hurt.

Shikamaru was not only 16, but he was a very... ummm, developed 16 year old. And the feel of Temari hugging him and putting her head near his, it made him rather horny.

"Uh, Temari. Maybe you'd want to go get some food or something?" he asked. 

Temari cried harder. "Why, so I can get fatter?" Her cries never ended.  
Alas, after 3 hours of public crying, she settled down, and all three of them went to get some food.

Temari's eyes were heavily black, from wetting her makeup, to just pure sadness.

Shikamaru looked at her, feeling a little sad. Maybe she really didn't deserve such a horrible comment. he thought. 

After a few minutes, Shikamaru grew impatient. "Where's our ramen?" he asked, as he got up and walked to the backroom.

He heard giggling sounds, those of a girl, and a little bit of a boy. "Oh... yes... Do it! Yes!!!" Shikamaru heard a girl scream in ecstasy.

"What the hell?" he thought, as he opened the door, to see something, he wished he had never seen.

"What the hell is this?" Shikamaru screamed as he looked at the ramen girl, Ayame, pouring ramen all over her body as she had a "buzzing" object in her "monkey".

She also watching a movie that Shikamaru recognized as "Double Agent Monkey."

Shikamaru was horrified, and a little aroused. Seeing the matured woman cloth less and making twists and turns he had never seen before was kind of hot, in his opinion.

"What the hell are you doing here!" she hissed at him, as she hid behind a couch.

Shikamaru covered his eyes, but continued to talk. "Can you get our ramen already... And oh, try not to use the one you've been bathing in." he said, trying not to show his deep urge to join her and let his other  
"head" be that "buzzing" object.

Ayame cleaned herself up, turned the TV off, and went to cook some more ramen, giving Shikamaru a dirty look.

The Nara went back to his table, just to see Shino and Kiba, well, really just Kiba, talking to Temari and Sakura.

"Oh great." Shikamaru groaned. He slowly walked over just to get an unwelcoming welcome from Kiba and Temari.

"... and I was like "If you want a pumpkin, that's fine, but I want some real woman!" Kiba laughed, as Temari joined in with Sakura in the background, laughing along.

"Uhh. Can I help you?" Shikamaru asked. Kiba turned to him, a little annoyed.

Temari rolled her eyes, and got up, to separate these two from fighting.

"Now guys." she said. Kiba smacked her hand. "No, leave this son of a bitch to me." he smiled, putting his fists up.

How troublesome. Shikamaru thought, as he tried to stop the wild Kiba from fighting.

"Fuck you man!" Kiba yelled, as he delivered a solid punch to the Nara's face. "What the fuck?" he yelled, blood oozing down his mouth.

Kiba stood ready for more. "Lets go, and this time, I ain't going to let Temari get away!" Kiba yelled, as he threw his fists for another punch.

Great Shikamaru thought sarcastically.

"Damn." Shikamaru yelled, as Kiba scratched his stomach. "I'm going to finish you off!" Kiba yelled.

Shikamaru tried his best to dodge the enemy, but he ended up falling under Kiba's superior strength and speed.

How can I beat him? Shikamaru pondered. Then, it hit him like Temari's knuckles: Smarts.

Shikamaru thought up a plan, an ingenious plan, one that'd put him on the map.

"I'll just make him hit Temari..." he thought. After Shikamaru strayed a LIIIIITTTTTLE too close to Temari, and Kiba strayed a LIIIITTTLLEE too close to Shikamaru, chaos was born.

Smack. Kiba had hit Temari with a solid punch. The kunoichi fell to the floor, silent.

Oh shit! Sakura thought in her head. Oh fuck! Kiba thought. Oh yes! Shikamaru thought.

The ramen shop stopped working, Ayame stopped having sex with her vibrator, hell, Shikamaru stopped thinking everything was too troublesome.

The world shook as the beast Temari rose. "You..." she roared. Kiba shook a bit.

"Your dead..." she laughed, and she gave him the cruelest punch known to man.

Kiba went soaring three tables down. "Owww!" he cried in pain. Temari was still in the position where she was leaned over, in the motion of punching.

"Oh!?" Sakura exclaimed, slowly walking away from Temari. Temari gave her an insane look, then she focused her gaze to Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru..." she said evilly in a clenched tone...

Oh boy... Shikamaru thought.


	7. The Aburame

Chapter 7

"Shikamaru..." Temari said through clenched teeth. Shikamaru sat on the bench available, awaiting to be beaten to a pulp.

In a flash, she ran over, and kissed him on the lips. "Oh Shikamaru! You're such a man" she screamed in pleasure.

She squeezed him harder, and Shikamaru felt... weird. "Uhh. Temari?" he asked.

Temari moved her mouth to his ear. "Play along." she whispered. Shikamaru was confused. Play along?

"You... you asshole!" an enraged voice screamed. Shikamaru looked forward to see Ino, looking deadly, with Chouji Ackimichi behind her, eating some chips.

Temari smiled. Bingo she said slyly. Ino stomped over to Shikamaru, and smacked him hard.

"Owwww! Shit." he yelled in pain. Ino was still angry, but she decided to take her anger out on Temari now.

"And your a slut!" she hissed. Temari's expression changed to angry. "Fuck you!" she yelled.

Ino clenched her fists, and sent a punch near her face. Temari easily blocked it.

"Bitch!" Ino screeched. "Cunt!" Temari yelled. The battle stopped. Ino stood there, sobbing.

"You..." she stuttered."You... you... idiot!" she cried out, tears streaming down her face.

Now she's crying!? Oh great. Shikamaru thought, still on the floor.

Temari watched as the blonde kunoichi as she ran away. Sakura watched her rival run away.

Maybe I should go leave right now... the Haruno thought, as she tried to slip away.

"Sakura." Temari said, not bothering to look her way. Sakura froze, and slowly turned her head to look at Temari.

"Ummm. Yes Sabuka?" Sakura asked, nervous. Temari laughed. "You aren't leaving before we eat our food, are you?" she asked...

After a sucky ramen dish, the trio left and went out to end the day. Shikamaru was so numb from the hits and bruises, that when he was smacked by Temari again for reasons unknown, he smiled.

The three saw Shino Aburame and Hinata Hyuga sitting around, doing nothing.

"Let's say hi!" Temari suggested, already grabbing Shikamaru's hand and running.

Fuck. The Nara grumbled. Sakura had to go along, or risk getting beaten up by the scary Temari.

"Hey Hinata!" Temari cheerfully greeted. Hinata blushed, but gave a small wave.

Shino sat there, unmoved. Temari gave him a look of pure interest.

Look at his ass. Temari thought. She felt an animal intent inside of her, but then again, it was always present when she was in the presence of an attractive man, or just a man to be more truthful.

"Sooo. Who wants to go see a movie?" Temari suggested, sitting next to the Aburame, pretending to yawn, as she put her arm around the Aburame's neck.

Shino was unmoved. Temari was getting annoyed. Time to bring out the big guns.

Temari yawned again, putting her legs on Shino's legs. "It's so boring today, isn't it Shino?" she asked.

Shino didn't move. Temari had had enough. "Enough of this..." she thought.

Temari tried to get up, but she accidentally, well, actually, it wasn't an accident, but she "accidentally" landed her face on Shino's lap.

"Ooops!" Temari said, sticking and twisting her tongue. Nobody could believe what they were seeing, yet still, Shino was unmoved. 


	8. Temari's Rage: Anko's Brawl!

Temari was still deciding on which dress to wear during the day when Shikamaru barged into the apartment room, looking a little disappointed.

"What's wrong dickface?" Temari asked, seeing if the shirt looked good with her jeans.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Are you ready to go yet, I've been waiting for three hours, plus you've messed the room up with your clothes Temari." Shikamaru complained.

Temari rolled her eyes. She decided that this dress looked fine on her, and she decided to wear it.

"Uhhh, aren't you going to the bathroom to change it, or not?" Shikamaru asked, covering his eyes a bit as she began to unbutton her pajamas.

Temari shrugged. "This is my room, so I can do anything I want here. YOU, however, have no control over this place, and therefore, should live with the consequences in here." she said in a "smart" tone.

Shikamaru though of seeing the Sabuka naked, and then he thought of what would happen if he did stay here, what would SHE do to him, anyway?

"I'll leave, and save myself from being beaten to death." he said aloud, as he left. Temari shrugged. "Suit yourself." she said.

The two ninja left the apartment, and went off to the Hokage office. "Today we have a meeting with Tsunade." Temari informed the Nara as she bit into her apple that she was consuming for breakfast.

Shikamaru groaned. This was getting waaay too annoying. The two entered the office, and took a seat next to the Hokage.

"Nara, Sabuka, good to see you." Tsunade greeted cheerfully. Temari smiled, and tapped Shikamaru as if warning him to smile as well.

Tsunade took out the papers that she needed to show them. "Okay... What you guys need to do today is complete this form." Tsunade said.

Temari took one, and Shikamaru lazily opened his hand, expecting the Hokage to give him one.

Shikamaru began to read it over, and then, began to question it. "Wait, why does it want to know which kunoichi in Konoha do I find most attractive? And why does it want me to leave a description of how I feel about her?" Shikamaru asked.

Tsunade smiled. "You see, just in case you don't come back from this mission, we are permitted to leave your ninja artillery and awards to the female you like the most." Tsunade explained.

Temari was puzzled. "Why do I have to put the most attractive boy in Konoha/Sand Village? I have siblings." she said. Tsunade smiled. "Well, we are strictly permitted to make sure the heir to your ninja ID is a non-family member." she said.

Temari filled the form out, and handed it to her. Shikamaru took his time, and finished it off in an hour. "Thank you two, that's all you need to do, this meeting is now at a close." Tsunade announced.

The two left the Office, and went out to the park. "So, uh, Shikamaru..." Temari asked. Shikamaru looked at her.

"What?" he asked. Temari smiled. "Who did you put as the most attractive girl in Konoha?" Shikamaru smiled a bit.

"Well. Since I am training to be an ANBU Captain, I began hanging out with Anko Mitarashi." Shikamaru said.

Temari frowned. "And, well. Every once in a while... Anko would give me... an uh... how do you say? Hand-job on the side." he said.

Temari's eyebrows twitched. Shikamaru smiled. "She's a real hotty, and her hand jobs are enjoyable." the Nara informed.

Temari twitched. "That's... That's... That's... That's nice." she said. Shikamaru looked at the Sabuka, who seemed to be a little stunned. "Are you okay?" he asked. Temari nodded. "Yes, I've never been better. Can I go to the bathroom for a second?" she asked. Shikamaru was a little puzzled, but said "Okay."

Anko Mitarashi was happily powdering her nose. Tonight she had a big date with Kakashi, and she wasn't about to look like a tramp, at least not until they made it to the bed.

She had to admit, she kind of missed her little hubby Shikamaru. She loved sneaking her hand around his pants, but he was a kid, and Anko needed a man.

There was a loud noise coming from a few meters outside of the girls' public bathroom. "Now who is that?" she asked.

Anko walked over just to see an angry Temari Sabuka. "You!" Temari pointed at Anko, as she punched her hard in the face.

"Owww! What the hell is your problem bitch?" Anko asked, rubbing her cheek.

Temari went in for another hit, but Anko dodged it and socked Temari with a punch, and then a kick to the stomach.

"How do you like me know? You my bitch now." Anko yelled. Temari tried to get up. "I won't let you take Shikamaru! He's my man!" she screamed, as she ran to knock Anko out.

The two kunoichi were brawling for a good 40 minutes, when Shikamaru came in to see them.

"Uhh, Temari?" he whispered. He heard the sounds of laughing and a girl screaming.

"You keep your fucking hands off me beytach!" Anko screamed as she pulled Temari's hair.

Shikamaru watched this, and got nervous. "No! No! Anko is in her berserk mode! She's going to rape me!" he cried in his mind.

Anko banged Temari's face onto the tile floor, and then, she looked to see the Nara.

"You! I want your flesh now!" she exclaimed, as she rushed to chase him.

_Oh crap_. he thought as he tried to outrun the crazy Mitarashi.

Shikamaru began to cry out. "Help me oh god!" he screamed. Anko used her snake jutsus to capture the Nara and cut off his throat long enough to catch him.

She rested her body on his. "Now your mine!" she said in a crazed tone, ready to rape the Nara.

"No..." he cried a little. Bang a loud bang was heard as Anko plopped to the floor.

Shikamaru opened his eyes a bit to see Kakashi over him, lifting Anko.

"Ka...Kakashi?" he said. Kakashi nodded. "Hmmm. It seems you set Anko on a berserk rampage. Nice job kid." he said.

Shikamaru got up. "Sorry that I have to leave you with the sex-crazy bitch he said.

Kakashi looked at Anko, and thought about how he would spend the rest of his day.

"Oh, don't worry, I should be thanking you." Kakashi said, laughing a bit. Shikamaru finally caught on to what Kakashi was talking about, and gagged.

"Well, I better be going, here's a few dollars, buy Temari some lunch." Kakashi smiled, waving goodbye. Shikamaru held the money in his hand. "Oh boy, what about Temari?" he thought.


	9. A Normal Breakfast

"Where are we going now?" Temari asked the Nara. Shikamaru groaned a bit.

"We were going to breakfast at the ramen shop, but ever since I saw Ayame "having fun", I decided to pass on that place." Shikamaru told her.

Temari laughed a bit. The sun's rays were nice and warm. Even Shikamaru had to admit; he was having a good time so far.

The two went to the "Breakfast Bar". It was a small little place that had great breakfast, for a great price.

Temari chose a seat, right next to the window, because she wanted everyone to see HER being escorted by Shikamaru.

The waiter walked over to the young ninjas. "Hey guys, my name is Steve, and I'll be your host for today, okay?" he asked.

Temari tried to be all "polite" by smiling, but she really was getting irritated by the man's "cheery" nature. Wow is he so happy in the morning? she asked herself.

"Yes, umm... I will be having the breakfast salad with dressing and a cup of orange juice." she smiled.

Steve nodded and wrote it down. "And you, sir?" he asked. Shikamaru looked at his menu. "I'll have the breakfast burrito, with orange juice, thanks." he said. The waiter nodded. "I'll have your food ready, as well as your orange juices done in a sec, thanks for eating at the Breakfast Bar." the waiter said.

"So, when are we going on this huge mission anyway?" Shikamaru asked. Temari sighed. "We still have about 2 weeks, let me enjoy my stay here." she said.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Temari relaxed her head against the window. "What ever happened to Kankuro, anyway?" Shikamaru asked.

Temari shrugged, a feeling a little bad because she made a big scene over something so small like a little fight they had.

"I hope he doesn't get into any trouble." Shikamaru exhaled. Temari nodded. "He's probably trying to meet some women, unless he's already with a new girlfriend."

Shikamaru lit his cigarette. "So, what is this mission about, anyway?" he asked the Sabuka.

Temari sat up straight. "Well, to be honest, I'm a little confused with it myself. You see, when Kankuro and Gaara came here a few weeks ago, before my stay here, they concluded that they found some sort of "den". They also said that there were thieves there that had stolen some scrolls, one of which had a large, red marking on the outside." Temari explained.

Shikamaru nodded. "So, why don't they send more ninja than just us?" he asked. Temari shrugged again. "I don't know, that's one question I cannot answer." she said truthfully.

Shikamaru sighed, as he looked over to see the chef's cooking smoke burritos. One of them is mine... he thought, eagerly waiting for his food.

The minutes went by, and finally, their orange juice arrived. "Here we go guys... Two freshly squeezed orange juices, and your breakfast will be here soon."

Shikamaru took his, not acknowledging the waiter, however, Temari had to smile and sip hers slowly.

Shikamaru finished his quickly, but Temari took her time, enjoying the taste. "This juice is fantastic!" Temari smiled. Shikamaru rolled his eyes, again. Temari was always trying to start a boring conversation with him.

After a few more minutes, their food arrived. "About time..." Shikamaru said aloud. The waiter gave him a dirty look, but was happy when Temari thanked him with a smile.

The two began to eat their food. As always, Shikamaru finished his quickly, while Temari took her time.

"Ahhh. That was good." Shikamaru grunted as he laid back. Temari didn't even finish her drink when Shikamaru began to feel annoyed. "Are you almost done?" he asked. Temari giggled. "Not even close Nara." Shikamaru groaned. How troublesome he thought as he closed his eyes to sleep.


	10. Mall Madness

Shikamaru Nara and Temari Sabuka decided that the day was boring and they should do something crazy, well, Temari thought they should do something wild and crazy.

"How about we go to the mall? I haven't been there since the first day of this damned trip and I heard that they got a new shoe department." the Sabuka suggested.

Great Shikamaru though. Another day wasted for him. He dreamed of sitting on the highest mountain peak and just lying down, letting the sun tan his skin and the clouds soothe his body.

"A shinobi has got to deal with troublesome things once and a while with a smile on their face, even if it is a troublesome woman." Shikamaru father had told him all the time.

"I guess it was true, then." Shikamaru said to himself as they walked close to the Konoha Mall. 

Temari immediately ran toward the shop called "Deals and Discounts" It's the place where Shikamaru hated the most. It had prissy, purple curtains around the windows, and little mechanical birds chirping and screaming the entire time.

"I'll be staying outside." Shikamaru announced, but Temari had ideas of her own. "Oh no you don't little boy. YOU have to pay for this, and I am not leaving the clothes hidden behind a wall just to go wake up your lazy ass." she said dragging him along.

Two hours later, Temari came back to the cash register just to see the lazy Nara snoozing near the entrance of the store.

"Shika... Maru!!!" she grunted as she hid her clothes behind a wall to go and beat up the lazy ninja's ass.

After Temari had spent $120 dollars on clothes that she will stash in her closet and never see again, the two went to a place that Shikamaru actually liked. The perfume parlor. The Nara had to admit, the place did smell pretty good.

Shikamaru especially liked the fragrance "Claret Deep" It smelled like peaches and cherry. The bottle was wrapped in red ribbons and had a price tag that made Shikamaru choke: $55!

Temari was testing out some ocean perfumes, when Shikamaru was greeted by some pretty girl.

"Hello. I just wanted to know: Do you like cologne?" she asked. Shikamaru stuttered a bit, but answered truthfully. "Uh, yes. I actually do." he said.

She smiled sweetly. "Well, I just wanted to give you a super cool deal. Here is the newest line of cologne by Hakanmi Saosi." she said smiling and holding up a glass bottle filled with blue liquid that looked thin.

Shikamaru's eyebrows rose a bit. He loved Hakanami Saosi's line of cologne. It had a manly smell, plus it was easy to open.

"Now, I can tell that you like this line of cologne, right or wrong?" she asked. Shikamaru smirked. "Your right." She smiled. "So, how about this: If you purchase this cologne now, you get a 50 discount off the original price!" she smiled.

Shikamaru's eyes bulged. Fifty percent was a lot off! "How much was the original price, anyway?" Shikamaru asked. The black haired girl thought a bit. It must be pretty pricy then. Shikamaru thought in despair.

"It was $90." the ditzy girl announced giggling. Shikamaru had to force a smile from breaking out on his face. "That's forty five dollars off the original price then!" the Nara exclaimed. The girl wasn't exactly a scholar, but at least she understood what he said. "Uh Huh. Forty Five dollars, but this deal will only be available for about, three more minutes." she said, luring him in.

"I'll take it!" Shikamaru said, handing her the money as he took the cologne. The girl smiled and left, looking for something else to persuade.

Shikamaru was oddly satisfied with his purchase; he sprayed a little on his neck and wrists and inhaled. "That's good stuff." Shikamaru smiled.

After Temari had purchased $30 worth of useless make up and perfume that she would stash in her make up table and probably sell in a Tax Sale, Temari decided that she wanted to go see a movie, again.

"Oh boy. Fine, fine. We'll see what's playing upstairs." he said. The two took the escalator, and in under a minute, they were at the top of the mall.

Temari looked around just to see the girl that she defeated in the Chunin Exams, TenTen, along with Neji Hyuga, that cute boy who had a nice butt.

"Hello Neji and TenTen!" Temari greeted them cheerfully, smiling a mile a minute. TenTen may have lost to Temari in a pitiful way, but she took no note of that, she was here at the mall, with Neji!!! Even though he reminded her countless times that they were here just to meet Gai and Lee, she felt as if they were really bonding.

"Hello there Sabuka Temari." Neji said coldly. Temari's grin drooped. Neji had this problem, or obsession with saying a persons name backwards, the last name in front.

"Hello Neji." she muttered. Neji grunted. Their eyes met, fiery eyes, those of anger.

Bitch Neji thought. Prick Temari thought. She's such an ugly female Neji said in his head. This little dick looks gay, or metro sexual at the least. Temari said to herself.

"Sooooo." TenTen broke through the thick silence with her dragging "so". "How about we go se a movie?" she suggested. Temari's gaze on the Hyuga broke. "Yeah! Me and Shikamaru were going to see one." Temari laughed a little.

The four walked to the movie ticket booth. "Hello. Do you have four tickets to that new film, Final Hours?" Shikamaru asked the girl in the booth.

She looked at him nastily. "Yeh, we have four tickets. It's $25 dollars." she said, a cigarette dangling from her mouth.

"Okay, here you go." he says, handing her 25 dollars. She takes it and gives them the tickets. "The movie starts at 1:30pm, you still have 30 minutes." she says, coughing a bit.

Shikamaru groans. Great, now I have to treat TenTen and Neji to food or something. I better get a raise. he thought as they all walked away from the movie booth.

"So, what are we going to do in the meantime?" Temari asked the Nara. He stared at her, angrily. She smirked, knowing that he hated it when she asked him what they were going to do.

"We can wait." he suggested. "And we can also go to the food court and get some pizza." she said immediately after him.

Troublesome. He thought as they went near the food court. "Who wants pizza?" Shikamaru asked, annoyed. Two hands raised in the air. Neji walked next to him, "I'll pay, I can tell a bomb as already hit your pocket." he snickered.

Shikamaru blushed, and took a seat next to Temari. The next 10 minutes were the most painful minutes of the Nara's life. The loud voices of both kunoichi about boys and makeup made it feel as if the Nara's ear was being raped.

Make it stop he screamed in his head. Make it stop he screamed again in his tiny head. Finally, the Hyuga returned with four pizzas and four small sodas.

"Okay, two pizzas and two small sodas for two ladies." Neji said with a little playful tone in his voice. "And two pizzas and two sodas for us men." he said again, giving a pizza to Shikamaru.

After another ten minutes, the four finished their pizzas and sodas, and were ready for the movie.

"You got the tickets?" Neji asked Shikamaru. Shikamaru smiled and nodded. He checked his pockets, but they weren't there! "What the fuck?" he thought, and then he saw something. Naruto, running away with their tickets.

"Oh no you don't, you little prick!" Shikamaru hissed as he chased the Uzumaki.


	11. The shortest chapter!

Shikamaru and Neji had beaten Naruto to a pulp, now, they go to the movie.

"Where's the seats?" TenTen asked, shuffling through the dim room. Shikamaru struggled to get by the fat people occupying the seats next to his. "Here we go." he says as allows Neji and TenTen to enter first. Neji goes to the far end while TenTen follows closely behind. Temari seats herself next to the weapon ninja and Shikamaru gets the seat to the left of Temari. "When does the movie start?" Temari asked Shikamaru. The Nara sighed. "Were 5 minutes early, so I'd say about... oh I don't know. FIVE MINUTES!" he said sarcastically. She smirked a bit, and began to nibble on a small piece of lettuce she brought into the movie theater.

"TenTen, can you move over a bit?" Temari asked the bun haired girl. "Oh, okay. Sorry about that." the ninja weapon shinobi said as she scooted a few inches away. Temari smiled, but Neji was ticked off. That bitch. How dare she order TenTen to move over! he thought. He looked at the girl he had been with for over 4 years. To think she still puts up with my attitude... I should change my ways and act more kind towards her and Lee, besides, they have been my only friends over the years. the Hyuga thought.

"Nara Shikamaru." Neji said softly. The Nara looked at him. "Yes?" he asked. Neji leaned in closer. "Do you think we were a little cruel to Uzumaki Naruto before? I mean, we did beat him to the point where he bled." the Hyuga said. Shikamaru smiled. "Nah, he's gotta learn to quit being a little whiny ass all the time, that's all." the Nara said. Neji nodded, but still felt a little bad for the blonde haired idiot.

In a few seconds, two more ninja came scooting down the row of seats. It was Rock Lee and Mite Gai. About time Neji thought. Crap TenTen thought. I wanted this to be only Neji and I, now this idiot has to come and ruin my date. she thought. "About time you guys got here, we've been waiting for hours." the Hyuga said laughing a bit. Lee, in his green, tight spandex suit, smiled widely. "Hyuga Neji! TenTen!" the proud green beast exclaimed. "I was not expecting to see both of you hear today, Yosh." he said giddily.

"Now we can watch the movie as a team! Hurra!" he shouted out. "Shhhssh!" the entire movie theater shushed the eager young Taijutsu master. "So, where are out seats Lee?" Gai asked. Lee saluted his sensei. "A-93." Lee said. Dammit! That's right next to Shikamaru! TenTen thought. Now Neji and I will never bond she thought sadly.

"We have brought chips and snacks!" Lee proclaimed. Temari looked at the bag and snatched a package of Cheetos when nobody was looking. Now I can pig out without being seen she giggled as the lights began to die.

"Hyuga Neji! Would you care for some chips?" Lee asked. Neji gave her an evil look. "I don't want any chips, Lee." Lee smiled, and gave him a thumbs up. "Would you like some Oreo cookies?" Lee asked. Neji sighed. "I am not hungry Lee, so leave me alone." he said, forgetting about what he said about "being kind to others" to Shikamaru.

The movie began with some freakish ninja girl being strapped to a seat while she was being cut. "Tell me where the Aburame's secret Jutsu center is or I'll slice your eyes open!" the villain threatened the kunoichi. She tried to smile, but the scars on her face were hurting a bit too much.

"I guess you weren't expecting to fight an Aburame today, were you?" she asked as her millions of bugs began to consume his chakra and eat him alive. "I have to warn Ashiri!" she said aloud as she began to run toward the bloodied door.

In a millisecond, Shikamaru lost interest of the movie and fell asleep. Or at least that is how quickly he conked out. Damn lazy bastard Temari thought as she finished her Cheetos.


End file.
